Funny Campfire Stories

It came to pass that a very poor peasant was down to his last meal. Deciding he could no longer live in squalor, he decide to sell the only thing he owned… his talking mule. These was no ordinary type of talking mule, this one could tell jokes and sing and keep the local townspeople very happy. With much regret, …

none I (a young veterinary student) had been asked to make the rounds of the local farms one week in the absence of my boss, Dr. Johnson. Most of the week was uneventful; I saw the usual horse vaccinations, sprained dog paws, and sick cows. However, when I got to the MacPherson farm, I saw something extraordinary. While I was …

I remember it was about that time that Jim Sloane used to work at the YMCA. Now that was a character. He was, in my opinion, an unusual individual who was interested in some rather exotic subjects. The most unusual thing about him was his pet, (rumored to have been captured somewhere in Africa) which reminded me of a piece …

There was a small African tribe that had a terrible problem. Every morning a neighboring herd of Wildebeests called Gnus, would stampede through the village, knocking down cooking pots, smashing water jugs and trampling the vegetable gardens. The Chief had tried everything, with no success. He built fences, but the Gnus ran right through them. He tried having his men …

Two workmen were sitting in a pub drinking and arguing about which pub they should visit next. “The Rose and Crown’s the closest,” said the first workman. “No, the Elephant and Castle is closer!” said the second workman. So they decided to go to the Elephant and Castle. On their way to the pub, a ferocious lion, which had escaped …

The armies of Alexander the Great were greatly feared in their day, but there was one problem that they had that almost defeated them. Alexander could not get his people to staff meetings on time. He always held the meetings at 6:00PM each day after the day’s battle was done, but frequently his generals either forgot or let the time …

There once was a family a long time ago that went on vacation. A mother, father, Brother, Sister and last but not least a small baby. After a long day of sight seeing and traveling the family decides to check into a local hotel. They’d checked out all the surrounding areas and the hotels were all full. Finally they come …

Buford, a fairly handsome Southern Bullfrog, hops into a bank lobby one day, brief case neatly tucked under his right foreleg. Buford hops up to the first open teller window and sits down in front of a teller, Miss Mary Greene. He announces, “I need a loan.” Miss Greene, not wanting to look too uncool with this frog talking to …

One hot and dry day in the Wild West, this dog walks into a saloon and says, “Gimme a beer”. Evidently this type of thing wasn’t too rare ’round those parts because the bartender said, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve dogs here.” The dog then took out a silver dollar, dropped it on the bar, and said, “Look, I …

Fred Herring’s best friend was Waylon Whale. They always played together. Their friendship was well known all over the ocean. One day Waylon decided that he would like to take a trip to the Gulf of California, but Fred, fearing earthquakes, decided not to go with him but to stay in Puget Sound. A few weeks later in school, an …

During the French Revolution, the “common people” were intent on ridding themselves of all vestiges of the Royalty and nobility. The Reign of Terror ensued and all nobility was hunted down. Some were allowed to leave the country, however most were executed at the guillotine. One nobleman in particular had sent his family into hiding in hopes of saving them. …

On a bright and sunny morning in May, Farmer Jones went out to plow his fields. He led old Bessie, his plow horse, out of the barn and hitched her up to the plow. The aroma of newly plowed earth wafted behind him as he produced a ruler straight furrow across the field. Suddenly his reverie was broken as a …

Freddy Fish and Sam Clam were the best of friends, and did everything together. One day, though, both perished in a freak mishap. Freddy Fish went to heaven, and immediately looked around for his best friend. Not finding him, he asked St. Peter where Sam was. “Sorry, he didn’t make it in.” “You mean he’s down there?” asked Freddy. “Yes.” …

It seems there were two frogs sitting on a lily pad, when all of a sudden, a fly came along. One frog put out his tongue, ate the fly, and started laughing hysterically. Soon the other frog joined in the laughter. Later in the day, the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs burst out in laughter. As …

Bears and Blueberries Some years ago back when I was working in a fishing camp up in the outback of the Saguenay region of Quebec sometimes in our spare moments a couple of us would go for blueberries which we gave to the cook. She made great desserts for the customers, and us too. Now in these blueberry barrens, black …

There was once three men; a doctor, a farmer, and a hippie. They all want to stay at a small hotel far off. The first guest is the doctor. “Can I please have a room for one?” he asks. “We’re all booked… except for one,” the man behind the counter says (let’s call him Frank), “but people say it’s haunted, …

For this skit you will need two hunting buddies and a 911 call center person. The skit starts off with the two hunters pretending to hunt in the woods ( you could use twigs for guns). Suddenly one of them clutching his chest, falls to the ground. The other pulls out his cell phone and calls 911 looking around in …

This all reminds me of the unfortunate story of the British entrepreneur John Tate and his compasses. Sometime back in the mid-1800s a small-time British manufacturer named John Tate decided to go into the business of making compasses. He set up a factory, installed the machinery, hired some workers, and began turning out his first compasses. He had just completed …

none A guy’s going on a hiking vacation through the mountains Out West. Before setting off into the boonies, he stops into a small general store to get some supplies. After picking out the rest of his provisions, he asks the old store owner, “Say, Mister, I’m going hiking up in the mountains, and I was wondering; do you have …

Tell the story and feel free to add as much scary details and voices as you dare… An old man died and his son inherted his house. The son decided to sell the house and tried to find a real estate agent. But no one would help him because the house was haunted. So he decided to move in to …

Dr. P. Lumb, quite proud of his academic degrees in genetics, physics, and marine biology. For the past several years, he has been working on a potion that eliminates the aging process. Before he tests it on a human subject, he chooses to test it on an animal with the mental capacities closest to a person, and so picks a …

Brad, Anny, and Carl were in front of the town’s oldest house. Brad dared Anny to go in for an hour, while Carl promised her 10 dollars if she did. Anny went in, and heard a voice say, “I’ve gotcha where I want ya, and now I’m gonna eat ya. She was scared, but she just figured it was Brad …

none A young boy was traveling on a long train trip across Canada. Sitting across from him was an older man, very neatly and precisely dressed. Across his knees he carried a briefcase upon which he nervously drummed his fingers. Since he looked to be rather an angry sort of man, the boy didn’t want to start a conversation. Presently …

We were at a traveling carnival, riding the rides and having a good time. We came upon a fortune teller booth and thought it would be fun to have our palms read. My {wife/husband/friend} went first and was told that they were going to lead a healthy, happy life. When it came time for my turn, the fortune teller took …

cold stuffed rubber glove, 10 small pieces of peeled carrots of different sizes, a wig, cold, cooked spaghetti, dried apricot, two peeled, green grapes, a piece of bologna Directions for Story: Guests sit in a circle on floor; lights are off except for the flashlight Narrator reads by. Lay each item to be passed in a separate bowl, and then …